"Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today to get through this thing called Midlife..."

My 50th year on planet Earth started with this beautiful sunrise...

... and then THIS happened!

Actually I got pooped on FIRST, but the sunrise is a better lead-in, don't you think?  Which brings me to my story...

Having a random bird use me for target practice is NOT the way to get a birthday party started! I know there are some beings out there who believe this random act as a sign of good luck, but how could that be lucky for ANYONE except the dang bird!? 

I had a choice here. I could accept this gesture as universal status quo for the life I thought I would have by now, a life where my teeth, my knees, my waistline and SO many things aren't even close to where I wanted to be...

...or I could choose a higher path. A path that rolled with unforseen punches to get to this point and can realize the life I have is still possible.

So I laughed.

I laughed enough to shake the cobwebs off my heart and smile into the sunrise that I found and was able to get a beautiful picture of shortly after getting pooped on. 

So that's my first good word as I head into this thing called midlife; to be grateful for getting here, being mindful of those that should be here, and remembering that seven years ago, my story could've ended MUCH differently...

... but that's going to have to be a blog-tale for another time...

ONCE UPON A COLD AND FLU SEASON

Colds used to be easy.

Sure, your throat got sore,

you got feverish and itchy

and your head hurt when you opened

your eyes too wide.

But then, there was Mother

with a bowl of soup,

a jar of Vicks Vapo-Rub

and the soothing words

“No school for you today;

You’re going to stay with me

and get some rest.”

There was cough syrup for the coughing.

More blankets were tucked under your chin

to keep the chills away, and best of all,

the TV was brought into your room

so the next item up for bids

and the cheers of the next contestant

mixed in with the warmth provided by

the soup and the blankets,

lulling you to a peaceful place

where the cold would go away in time.

Today, colds are HARD.

Days of scheduling doctor’s appointments,

picking up medications,

loads of home remedies

if you’re not insured,

and if you want to keep what you have

until you can do better,

there’s no staying home.

So you drag yourself into the office

coughing and sneezing for

everyone to hear

because billable hours never sleep

and of course, they never…EVER…get sick. 

I Have to Write BUT...

I have to write
but I have a job.
I have to write
but I have documents to file.
I have to write
but I need a cup of coffee.
I have to write
but I have bills to pay,
parents to call,
the dog to walk,
laundry to wash,
an apartment to clean
and get ready for the holiday season
Am I traveling for the holiday season?
Did I use all my sick days?
Did I ever use any vacation days!?
I've got too much I have to DO today,
every day
and somehow, someway
I've got to, HAVE to do my best
to get through the worst
BUT...
I have to finish this poem first!

TWIZZLERS TASTE BETTER THAN MY PEN

Twizzlers taste better than my pen.
So soft and strawberry-scented,
they bend to the will
of my powerful chomps,
freely offering a moment of satisfaction
whenever I wish; no arguing or resistance.
Meanwhile, my Bic Ultra
sits in between the molars of
my right jaw
rigid and demanding I GET TO WORK
and WRITE...RIGHT...NOW.

Plus, the pen doesn't SNAP
when I pull it from my mouth.
It's tough love, unyielding in its
plastic coating
and nowhere close to
tasting as sweet.

Stephanie Rogers - November 1st, 2011

Random Deepness

When life hands you lemons...pretend they're someone's testicles and SQUEEZE...! You'll feel better instantly!

Random Deepness

Did you ever feel that some people on this planet exist for nothing but the sole purpose of pissing you off?